It has been months since I last talked to You. I know...I know... But still, I went on. I was and still am spiritually dry. I am confused...lost.
Through it all, never was there an instant that I knew You're just beside me. But still, I went on.
I was up yet down, happy yet discontented, assured yet insecure. But still, I went on.
I did good, obeyed, conquered and I still prayed and have faith. I failed, fell, was hurt, disappointed and still hoped... and went on.
Then I fell hard and paused and couldn't go on. Stop! I heard my heart telling me to stop and listen to the voice inside that has always been fighting to be noticed. The voice prompting me to stop and think and appreciate and ask forgiveness and forgive and trust...and gather myself. And it didn't take me a minute nor a second to realize that that voice belongs to You.
I was in denial. Convinced myself that all will be well effortlessly. I prayed. Yes! I did but was it really a prayer or a request? I appreciated. But was it really appreciation or simply relief that I survived for a moment?
I'm sorry, Father. I'm so sorry..
Your Daughter,
